Friday, 15 February 2013

Chocolate hearts and gratitude

This is not related to the post below. I just think it's wonderful. 

Happy Valentine’s Day! 
(I didn't have access to internet yesterday, hence the late post)

I spent the day in London with my best friend for life (or Biffle, as my cousin would say!)

I’ve never been one to hate or love Valentine’s Day. I’ve been both single and attached on V-Day, and I never found it made much of a difference either way!  I have noticed, however, that February 14th falls in kind of an awkward place in the calendar year. The glow of Christmas has worn off, summer still feels pretty far away, and if you’re not with someone special, it can feel like the world is conspiring to remind you of that fact.

Since I turned 23, I’ve felt that being single was a choice. After two serious relationships, I really wanted to remember what it felt like to be myself again, rather than part of a couple.

But I have to admit, on the drive down to London after work on Thursday, I started to feel a little…well, down. It was silly, really, and I felt even sillier for letting it bother me,  but it was a difficult feeling to shake.

Then yesterday morning, my friend’s sister was packing up her two kids to take them to the library. She has an adorable two-year-old girl and a newborn boy. “It took me 45 minutes to leave the house,” she told me.

“Is it a lot harder with the two kids instead of the one?” I asked.

“It’s way different,” she agreed. She spent every minute I saw her with the kids, feeding, bathing, playing, or soothing. And I had a moment of realization about how very...self-involved my life is.

Almost every decision I make, everything I think about and do, revolves around myself. I don’t schedule my shifts around anyone; I don’t support anyone; I can (and do) sleep in until 11 on days I’m not working, and I decide to head to London on a moments notice without checking in with anyone.

While initially, my thought was “Wow, my life is so selfish,” my next thought was: “No, my life is SO awesome.”

One day I hope that I meet someone amazing, who won’t mind that I’m scatterbrained and who hopefully enjoys taking spontaneous road trips. And when I have two kids and it takes me 45 minutes to leave the house, I hope that I also think that my life is totally awesome.

But for now, I’m just so grateful to be where I am. To have a great home and roommate, to have friends all over the world, a job I am starting to love and a family that will support me no matter what. I’m so grateful that I can make the choice to work 60 hour weeks if I need to, or watch 60 hours straight of Dawson’s Creek if I want to, without anyone complaining.

I am in no way saying that being single is better than being attached (or vice-versa). For me, it’s all about being appreciative about where I am now, and remembering that that is exactly where I need to be at this moment in time.

I hope everyone ate a lot of delicious chocolate and cinnamon hearts yesterday!

4 comments:

  1. I feel the same way! As much as I'd love to be in a relationship, get married, and have babies, my life right now is pretty amazing. I don't have to take care of anyone but myself and I can have as much alone time or fun time as I want. I think it's good that we appreciate this stage in our life instead of constantly thinking about what our lives could be like if we were not single.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great post! It is nice to not be tied down and do what you want!

    ReplyDelete
  3. So true. Be happy where you are in your life, single or not. <3 Hope you're having fun in London!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I often get caught up in wanting a relationship, marriage, babies, etc.... but then I realize how LUCKY I am to be where I am in life right now. Studying abroad has made me realize that. Travelling so much would be next to impossible if I was tied down to someone else. I've realized that I don't want to limit myself in any way right now... and I'm happy to be footloose and fancy-free without worrying about being "serious" romantically. Here's to our twenties!

    ReplyDelete